Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.

Oh my life is changing everyday…in every possible way.

“This happens. This is something that happens.”

Yesterday I found out that a boy that I use to hang out with died. He was in a coma for a month. He (tried?) to commit suicide by hanging himself from a ceiling fan.
This news is so weird for me. I mean, this isnt the first person in my life to commit suicide. He was in the same sitution I was in. Of course I also tried to do something about it. And now I look back and I see how stupid I was. In a way im glad that im still alive, but in a way im not.

A couple of days ago I found out that a friend of mine (my age) got married.
Its a very…bizarre deal. She is a smart, brilliant. Ever since middle school I thought that she was just beautiful… gorgeous… magnetic. It seems like she is throwing her life away. Why marry so young? You are just beinging your life. There is so much to experience! Why would you want to give it all up? As of now the thought of marriage is gloomy. I dont know anyone that is happy with their partner. I dont know any examples of a happy marriage. Only in movies.

Im doing and dealing drugs more often the usual.
Drugs are becoming a big part of my life. Its nothing to hard. Just pills. People look down on me for it and I dont really care. They(she) are all hypocrites. Their friends can smoke weed and they(she) want to say shit about what I do. If they(she) were real friends they(she) would at least try to help me. But I guess they(she) arent real friends.

I need to get better friends.

(She’s smiling. Is she happy? She looks happy. So, what does it matter? )


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